In my SIMPLE framework, the “P” stands for processing and this is probably the one that hits me the hardest.
Because I think processing is the part most of us try to skip.
We want to smile.
We want to stay inspired.
We want to manage our schedules, homes, finances, routines and responsibilities better.
But processing?
That part feels uncomfortable.
Messy.
Inconvenient.
So instead, we stay busy.
For a long time, I thought if I could just manage my life well enough, I could outrun how I actually felt.
Stay productive.
Stay useful.
Keep showing up.
Keep smiling.
And from the outside, it honestly looked like I was doing great.
But internally, I was emotionally exhausted.
The older I get, the more I realize that high functioning people are often the best at avoiding themselves.
Not intentionally.
Just efficiently.
We learn how to survive.
How to compartmentalize.
How to push through.
How to perform while quietly carrying way too much.
And eventually, all of those unprocessed emotions start leaking somewhere.
For me, sometimes it looks like this:
I’ve had a long day at work.
The house feels chaotic.
Dinner still needs to be figured out.
My brain has been making decisions for everyone all day long.
And by the time I finally stop working, I feel completely mentally maxed out.
That’s usually when the “spillage” happens.
My husband will ask something completely normal like,
“Oh, did you ever get to that thing?”
And instantly I snap back.
Not because of the question itself.
But because internally, my brain is already screaming,
“No, but I did 100 other things today.”
And underneath all of that is the reality that I want nothing more than to just sit down, unwind, and mentally breathe for five minutes.
But when you are emotionally overloaded and do not recognize it, eventually it starts spilling out.
Sometimes it looks like irritability.
Sometimes it looks like shutting down.
Sometimes it looks like reacting bigger than the moment actually called for.
And sometimes it is simply the accumulation of too much, for too long, without enough processing in between.
That is why processing matters so much to me within SIMPLE.
Because I do not think you can truly live a simple life if you never stop to process what you are carrying.
Emotional processing reminds me a lot of taking out the garbage.
You can ignore it for a little while.
You can keep piling things on top of it.
You can spray air freshener around it and pretend it is manageable.
But eventually the garbage has to go out.
And the thing about garbage is… it is not a one time task.
It is maintenance.
You take it out one week.
Then somehow it fills back up again.
And if you ignore it too long, eventually it starts overflowing.
Spilling out into other areas and creating bigger problems than the original mess itself.
And not all processing looks the same.
Sometimes it is daily maintenance.
Recognizing you are overstimulated.
Taking a break before you snap.
Being honest that you are emotionally running on empty.
I think that is why so many high functioning people stay stuck in emotional exhaustion for so long.
Because from the outside, productivity looks healthy.
Achievement gets praised.
Being dependable gets rewarded.
Pushing through gets admired.
So we convince ourselves we are doing okay simply because we are still functioning.
But functioning and processing are not the same thing.
And I think that is the part I had to learn the hard way.
Because real processing usually is not glamorous.
It does not always look like a breakthrough moment.
Sometimes it is therapy.
Sometimes it is prayer.
(For me, a lot of times it is writing.)
Sometimes it is going for a drive because you know you need ten minutes alone before walking back into the house.
Sometimes it is recognizing that you are emotionally shutting down instead of actually dealing with what is bothering you.
I think a lot of us were taught how to cope, but not how to process.
So we keep functioning.
Keep producing.
Keep distracting ourselves.
Because productivity feels safer than vulnerability.
But you cannot perform your way out of emotional exhaustion.
Eventually the garbage still has to go out.
And maybe that is not failure.
Maybe it is just part of maintaining a healthy life.
Next Up →
Maybe You’re Not Lazy. Maybe You’re Overloaded
Sometimes the problem isn’t that we’re lazy.
Sometimes we’re just overloaded.
Simply Sonia 